G and I were sitting in a new little restaurant in a charming French-style arcade, sipping our teas — and of course, I couldn’t resist a wholemeal crispy croissant. G was on a diet; I’m not.
Every now and then, we meet to talk about our kids, our husbands, life in general… and our midlife. Our children were literally in diapers together, so yes, I could brag a little and tell them, “We’ve known each other since you were in diapers!” — and feel just a bit proud when I’m right.
G asked how my summer had been, and then she said she had some “news” to share. I braced myself — surprises give me indigestion — and then she dropped it. Shock. Surprise. Confusion. Seeing long-term marriages struggling after twenty-plus years is heartbreaking.
Life changes as we move through the decades: children grow, spouses evolve, needs shift. And yes, sometimes people call it a “midlife crisis,” but honestly? Every phase has its challenges. The real solution, I’ve found, is communication. Heart-to-heart conversations, sharing expectations, expressing feelings, noticing the little things — these are what keep relationships alive.
I advised G and her husband, C, to spend quality time outside their usual routines. Dress nicely, take public transport, sit in a small, personal restaurant. Watch happy people, young couples, children playing. Let the world remind you of life’s joy. And then talk. Often, changing the environment softens tension and opens space for honest dialogue.
The little things matter, too. Over the years, R and I have learned to share our days, send messages, and talk over meals. I tell him when I’d love pink roses — simple, clear, and effective. Relationships aren’t about perfection. They are about intention, patience, and connection. Arguments, differences of opinion, and clashes will happen. But when we communicate openly, we learn to agree, disagree, and move forward together.
Midlife is not a crisis. It is an opportunity: to reset, reconnect, and treasure the bonds that truly matter. Reflection, communication, and connection — these are the tools that make life rich, relationships meaningful, and the little everyday moments unforgettable.
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